Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please
#11
  Re: (...)
In the continuing saga...

MIL cannot stay alone in her apt when she returns on April 12 (from SIL's house, where she is recuperating from 2 surgeries). DH talked with her last Friday, got an okay to do it, and we looked at a few senior apartment complexes on Monday. Unfortunately, the best one (by far) had only one small efficiency available. MIL would definitely not go for that. But we are hopeful and DH called her, only to be yelled at because she didn't remember telling him that it was okay to find her another place. I think I mentioned all of this in a previous post.

Well, this morning the manager of the "best" apartment complex called and a one-bedroom apartment has suddenly become available. That is the perfect size. She can fit most of her furniture in from the old place. DH calls his mother again and spends 1-1/2 hours on the phone. Round and round and round... she wants to see the apartment first, but she is 6 hours away and they will only hold it through Wednesday. Plus, we have to try to cancel her lease tomorrow or we will have to pay an extra month's rent (we have to stay thru April to pack up all of her stuff).

I just sent some photos of the new building. It makes her current one look like public housing. But she is stubborn and thinks that we are all trying to trick her.

Her current apartment has no handicap facilities at all and she not only has trouble using the (repaired) broken arm, but now uses a walker as well. The new place has a private, fully accessible apartment, all meals (in a lovely dining room) are included in the rent, plus transportation to doctor appointments, shopping, etc.

MIL has done nothing but complain about her old place, but remembers none of that. The neighbors she dislikes are now her "friends".

We are being driven mad.

Anyway, tomorrow morning it all comes to a head. She has to make a decision, and really, that decision has to be to let us move her into a new place. And it has to be done before the 12th.

Okay, what I need from you all are some incredibly positive vibes to be sent to MIL (and DH!) tomorrow morning. Full of "time to move to a new place" thoughts! Packed with "you'll be much safer there" thoughts!

Well, it can't hurt, can it???

Thanks, guys.
Vicci

my cooking adventures
www.victoriasdays.blogspot.com
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#12
  Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by foodfiend (In the continuing sa...)
Total positive vibes from me! Nothing but the best for you and your MIL.<<<<<hugs>>>>>
"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
Laura
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#13
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by luvnit (Total positive vibes...)
Positive vibes and prayers and best wishes are coming your way. I don't envy your position.
Daphne
Keep your mind wide open.
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#14
  Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by foodfiend (In the continuing sa...)
Oh Vicci - I know how hard this is. This is sooooo hard. I know the time frame is tight but can you get power of attorney????

I know that's violent emotionally. Does her MD have any info or ability to bring up the health care issues???

You have all our prayers and positive thoughts with you, and we'll cross our fingers that MIL will realize what's the right thing to do.
You only live once . . . but if you do it right once should be enough!
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#15
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by Harborwitch (Oh Vicci - I know ho...)

You certainly have my thoughts and prayers as we went through this last year.

It is not easy - just be very positive and gentle.

Marye
Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not right, then it's not yet the end.
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#16
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by mjkcooking ([br]You certainly ha...)
Thanks for your support, everyone. I am not a morning person, but I've been up for hours because I'm so worried how this day will turn out...

DH does have power of attorney, so that's one hurdle. MIL, I have to believe, knows that this move is the only option but DH will not do anything without her okay (and then, whether she actually remembers that she gave the go-ahead will be another matter entirely-- she's not pre-Altzheimer's, but quite forgetful).

I'll let you all know what happens. And, really, the positive thoughts really DO help (as some of us on these Boards knows!).
Vicci

my cooking adventures
www.victoriasdays.blogspot.com
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#17
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by foodfiend (Thanks for your supp...)
Vicci, I am sending subliminal messages to the MIL. Hopefully she will get them. You and Jack must keep reminding yourselves that these decisions you make are in her best interest. I am sure you will not ever regret doing the right thing, even if it is painful at the time. Hopefully, once there, she will be convinced it was a great idea. She may even try to tell everyone it was her idea! Oh how I wish my mom could talk to her. Once my mom made the move, she actually started smiling again. Good luck and lots of hugs.
Theresa

Everything tastes better Alfresco!
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#18
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by chef_Tab (Vicci, I am sending ...)
Oh Vicci, good vibes, thoughts, wishes, everything is on the way to you, DH, and of course your M-I-L. There is nothing more frightening for her than losing all the power over her life, even tho in lucid moments, she knows it is being done with love.

This is so hard -
Retired and having fun writing cookbooks, tasting wine and sharing recipes with all my friends.
www.achefsjourney.com
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#19
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by cjs (Oh Vicci, good vibes...)
Sending good vibes and thoughts as well - this is such a hard time for your MIL - hopefully she will find the place charming and forget the bad comments and thoughts - that happens sometimes - it did with my mother - one day she said she would not go to the nursing home and the next day thought it was a great idea.
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#20
  Re: Re: Way, way OT-- need good vibes and thoughts, please by (Sending good vibes a...)
And just think, we all are headed in that direction. Just let me say, since I'm so darn much older than you all, please be there for madmax so she doesn't take me out and shoot me! (half kidding....)
Retired and having fun writing cookbooks, tasting wine and sharing recipes with all my friends.
www.achefsjourney.com
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